We are men of a certain age who gather every fall in the rolling hills of Adams County, Pa., friends who have known each other since our pre-adult personas. We travel from around the country to golf, break bread and talk about everything from politics, music and sports to social justice, spirituality and relationships. This year we added bicycling to our itinerary.
As I drove the 120 miles from our outing last week to my home in South Jersey, I had time to think about the nature of friendship and the wonderful sense of belonging that comes with it. The comradery that stems from having known each other since our early teenage years is special.
There is nothing warmer and more comfortable than old friends who get you and who accept you as you are. Friends, who truly care about you. Friends, who even if you haven’t seen them for a long period of time, are able to pick right up where you left off. They, and other friends of mine as well, are a blessing. In today’s parlance, they are my tribe.
The Elizabethan poet and essayist John Donne wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” Indeed, to recognize we are a part of something greater than ourselves is to understand we are not only part of a tribe, but we all share in the world.
As a group, my friends and I have experienced the range of joys and sorrows to which humans are heir. While we’ve all chosen different paths on our respective journeys, compassion, empathy and love are the guiding principles by which we live. They are core values that have enabled us to connect on a deeper level and the reason, I’m convinced, that our friendships have endured the years.
Perhaps the different paths we’ve chosen on our journeys will one day lead us to the same place. Perhaps, as T.S. Eliot suggested, it will be the place where we began, and we will recognize it for the first time.
Small Epiphanies From a Life in Progress 
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